Strange thoughts

Ah...it took me 3 months to write again , as some incidents really struck me and made me think , think and think again. The more I kept thinking , the more surprised I got and felt ...Man!!! life is not different , no matter where you are and what you do.

I always had a feel that people are different in different places and have different ways they take on life. Its different no doubt , but when it comes to certain aspects of human temptations, people are same. As somebody had said , sex , power , greed , vengenance bring people together and at same time make them far apart , even kill each other.

In India , I was exposed to a culture where none waited for a while to look up , if you fall , you get kicked harder so that you fall more and others can move ahead leaving you behind. It was like struggle for a slice of bread , when 100 people are trying to eat it. You had to play smart , but there were people who were smarter and they out witted you . You change your strategy , and then move ahead few steps , and then again the whole scenario changes and you seem to be back to square one. You fight with yourself day and night , you fight with your values , wishes, dreams , innocence, and your inner voice to make that inch of impression. Time had made me strong , made me work on my emotions and then there was a time , when nothing affected ...simply NOTHING!!!!.

Then I travelled few thousand miles to a new place. New people , new culture , new way of seeing life, new behavioural patterns....I was happy and was slowly getting into a complacent mode where I thought , all people are not same , you can still find life , you can still find sense of belongingness and brotherhood.But as time passed and then slowly life unfolded itself , in its truest sense. I was taken aback and off guard , suddenly everything seemed to fall apart till I regained myself. My old self which I had kept in the closet for some while, thinking I would not require it here. I started seeing the masks again , and no matter how I try , the masks never revealed its real self , every mask was different , although so same it looked .

I relaized , like I always believed that there is nothing right or wrong in something so relative as life... its just a GAME ....and its upto you how you play it. The game is same , the rules also are same , only your way of approaching it changes...from time to time ...and the more better you play , the more battles you survive. But there is no freedom from it , unless you die.! I was amazed and surprised but now I am more convinced, and I am confident , people accross world are same , the power , the politics and the manipulation all remains same , just the soldiers changes and may be also the king or the king maker.

It was a great lesson learnt again and an education to my deceptive mind , who always doesnt listen to my brain but my heart...

Feelings.....

I have always aspired to talk about the most unheard and cryptic representation of human heart or shall I say mind...In this post and in the coming few write ups , I will try to share my experiences whatever little I have come across in this small time I have spent on planet earth ...sometimes I may be too sarcastic or sadist , but please do bear with me , as that is how I have learnt my lessons of life and love and have come this far.....

Like the seasons of nature and the whims of five elements on earth , our heart also has its own changes of thought , likeness , tastes and priorities , and these changes with time. We never may imagine that we have changed but we do and sometimes we need to and have to, but to our utmost surprise when we are told and talked about it , with full confidence try to disown our change of thoughts or rather priorities. Like the old river changes its course from high to low tide , thus we change and all of us do .

And thus as we grow up , the lingo changes from "us" to more of "I and myself". the first crush happens on me , thyself. This crush prevails and slowly gets on to us and thus it slowly grows into love , affection and then finally obsession. We all are obsessed by ourselves. In every work we speak , every step we make , our peers , in personal and professional life , we always tend to look towards us. The expectation rises and we start judging in every minute detail and series of events that keeps on happening in each day of our lives.

In every work we do , we tend to think this is for others or may be its all about helping others , but if one really goes deep inside and think , why we do it? The answer comes out simple , its for us , its for me and my soul and my heart to get satisfied to listen " how good I am " , people talking good about you makes you feel good , boosts your self esteem and thus satisfies your "I".

I learned this the hard way , there was a time in my life , where I used to keep on telling my friends and acquaintances about how bad and disgusting I am and I used to crib about myself. One fine late night , I was talking to a friend of mine and I was discussing on these lines and suddenly she got back " You do this because you are too self centred and you always want to listen to good things about you, it satisfies your ego. So you keep saying bad things about you , so that you can hear the good things as you know you are not that bad as you represent to be" . I was shocked and speechless , could not comment for a while , then I did some retrospection on myself and I found out its true, She was 100% correct , and to my dismay half of the population do the same thing. This was a lesson learnt from life 13 years ago....One loves thyself the most ...then comes everything else....

The Malaysian Fantasy

I have always wanted and dreamt of travelling abroad. To be very frank with my kind of education and background I never imagined I could travel outside India. Well I have been always that pessimist kind a person , who thinks everyone else is better than thyself. But yes , thanks to the stars and my benevolent boss , I got this opportunity to travel outside India and I am now kind of settling down in this country called " Truly Asia".

This place again as usual is making me learn and its learning par excellence. Like all people who likes to travel like me , would definitely agree , every place brings with it the flavour, spice and the colors. Its a learning , that no matter whereever you go, you try to tag along to your root and no wonder I took a place which is more of Indian than any other country. Though it reperesents more of the southern part of India, but still you feel it India.

The very strangest part here is , all people here including Indian origins , has a strange lind of mystry attached with India. It seems to them India means Chennai and Bangalore and most of them have never heard or gone beyond that. While I am learning here , I making them learn about India , and its varied culture and colors and guess what , they are more than keen to visit the INDIA that we know of.

Moving around here there , I wonder , how such smal country rather an Island , could become so advanced , even population could be very few hundreds , may be not even 2-3 states taking together.....well they have learned to live king size, they do not fight , and if they fight , they fight for each other and not against each other.

This much for now , njoy Nasi Lemak , Bee Hoon and Sotong and Udang Rice......this place is getting into me.....LOVE IT !!!!

Slumdog Millonaire - The Indian Anger

The movie is making waves in the west and the Indians are unrest...whether in appreciation or in anger. I did watch the movie , well nothing extraordinary though but it has a different backdrop and very well executed with detail. The cinematography is excellent so is the screenplay and so are the protagonists that are in the film.

Saying so , I have been hearing in different parts of the media that , this movie is a worng representation of India and it is a brit way of looking at India. It has been also said that west likes to see India in this light and thus the awards are coming in..etc etc.

I was just wondering ....when Rakeysh Mehra did "Rang De Basanti" it showed the black side of India , the movie made waves,when "Dharavi" was made , it made waves, "Agneepath" made waves , "Traffic Light", "Fashion" made waves , and let me understand , are all these films were positive films , showing the positive side of India? But we Indians only went ga-ga over the films ....why..just because they were Indian directors...are we so fragile to take in the reality...actually we are.

If we very carefully see the movie , there is nothing to be ashamed of being an Indian , it is a very normal movie of a person from Rags to Riches...the only difference is the backdrop is India and director is British.

I was trying to understand , where is our anger ...the Indian poverty , or that the Briton with Indian actors with a normal story and cast made it to the Oscars, and our Indian directors could not even enter Oscars...I guess the second one holds true. Why did Slumdog did what it did...is it because of the slums ...I beg to differ..it is because Doyale had a greater money and bigger lobby in Oscars . Oscars is nothing about good film , its about lobby and popularity , simple.

And finally if we are angry about the Brit showing India in poor light, Americans also has shown poverty in their films and got Oscars , lets take example of "Pursuit of Happyness", where unemployment and poverty was shown , though in a very different back drop. There are several other films which have shown the black side of America. Its all what sells...whether in India or abroad..people portray what they can sell.

Last but not least , lets celebrate that at least we Indians are making a mark in the world cinema , with the likes of A R Rahman ...we should be happy and enjoy the spotlight...even if it is at a cost.