I have always aspired to talk about the most unheard and cryptic representation of human heart or shall I say mind...In this post and in the coming few write ups , I will try to share my experiences whatever little I have come across in this small time I have spent on planet earth ...sometimes I may be too sarcastic or sadist , but please do bear with me , as that is how I have learnt my lessons of life and love and have come this far.....
Like the seasons of nature and the whims of five elements on earth , our heart also has its own changes of thought , likeness , tastes and priorities , and these changes with time. We never may imagine that we have changed but we do and sometimes we need to and have to, but to our utmost surprise when we are told and talked about it , with full confidence try to disown our change of thoughts or rather priorities. Like the old river changes its course from high to low tide , thus we change and all of us do .
And thus as we grow up , the lingo changes from "us" to more of "I and myself". the first crush happens on me , thyself. This crush prevails and slowly gets on to us and thus it slowly grows into love , affection and then finally obsession. We all are obsessed by ourselves. In every work we speak , every step we make , our peers , in personal and professional life , we always tend to look towards us. The expectation rises and we start judging in every minute detail and series of events that keeps on happening in each day of our lives.
In every work we do , we tend to think this is for others or may be its all about helping others , but if one really goes deep inside and think , why we do it? The answer comes out simple , its for us , its for me and my soul and my heart to get satisfied to listen " how good I am " , people talking good about you makes you feel good , boosts your self esteem and thus satisfies your "I".
I learned this the hard way , there was a time in my life , where I used to keep on telling my friends and acquaintances about how bad and disgusting I am and I used to crib about myself. One fine late night , I was talking to a friend of mine and I was discussing on these lines and suddenly she got back " You do this because you are too self centred and you always want to listen to good things about you, it satisfies your ego. So you keep saying bad things about you , so that you can hear the good things as you know you are not that bad as you represent to be" . I was shocked and speechless , could not comment for a while , then I did some retrospection on myself and I found out its true, She was 100% correct , and to my dismay half of the population do the same thing. This was a lesson learnt from life 13 years ago....One loves thyself the most ...then comes everything else....
